'Tomorrow' and other fairy tales.

‘TOMORROW’ AND OTHER FAIRY TALES

When I was much younger (some 30+ years ago), I was talking with my (cousin, whose age difference made me call him) uncle, he asked what I’d want to be by 25. “rich” was my short but sweet answer. I told him I was gonna be a millionaire by 25. While I’m very sure Uncle Graham has forgotten this conversation that happened in our grandma’s living room, it has always stuck with me and acted as a kind of motivation (and weirdly enough, assurance), convincing me that if by the age when I didn’t understand the complexities of the world, I had already stated that I would be a millionaire by 25, then why wouldn’t it happen?

‘Tomorrow’ and other fairy tales.

Some years ago, when I was crazy in love, overdosed on (pre-cocaine) Bruno Mars and dreaming of everything I will do for this girl and our unborn children, we often made the egregious and common error of talking about what we wanted from ‘our’ future.

 We promised each other the world, everything in it and everything out of it (Radimene, you still owe me a daughter). We were so sure our ‘tomorrow’ would come to fruition and it will bring with it everything we had promised ourselves.

‘Tomorrow’ and other fairy tales.

“Tomorrow waits for no man” is one of my father’s favorite quotes, usually followed by “you’re not proactive”. Coming from a man who basically lives for doing things at the last moment, it didn’t really sting as much as it should have, but eventually, I got the message.

James 4:14 sums it up when it succinctly reads “ye know not what tomorrow will bring”.

“Tomorrow is not promised”. I grew up Nigerian and Christian, so I have heard a million variants of those phrases.

Even recently, amongst friends, when I hear them talk about the future, I always tell them it’s arrogant talking about ‘tomorrow’ as if we subscribed for life and are sure of it. As if we were in control. As if we aren’t all just a speck, an insignificant blip in the run of things. We talk about the future like we matter. We ‘plan’ and organize like one pandemic can’t shut the whole world down. We talk about tomorrow like we have a smidgen of control how it pans out.

‘Tomorrow’ and other fairy tales.

If you were to ask me now what I planned for the future, my honest answer will be finishing from Bells, going to Europe the earliest opportunity I have and never coming back.

Seems I’m yet to learn.

‘Tomorrow’ and other fairy tales.

Reminiscence.

Greetings Mortals;
I've missed this.
Well, I'm here not just to mesmerize with my words, but to provoke thought this time. Not only am I here to make you shake your head, but I'm here to make you crack them.
This is a socio-political post (watch for the switch-up) and it may be the first or last, as the spirit leads.
Thanks for keeping faith with me and welcome new readers.
My Uneventful Life is back!

Fortunately, I've lived long enough to remember when 10k (ten thousand Naira) was money.
It was then my wage for existing (life was goood). Free accommodation in my fathers house, free feeding and they still gave me money for just being ?! Adulthood is a scam.
 Then, almost everyday was BOLE day. My cousins and I (I unfortunately do not have a brother, Sarima was far too old for me and already bearing the consequences of adult-ing, Homa (baby sister) was much too young) would go swimming every weekend with friends, go watch a movie etc and still have enough left over for the occasional meat and drink combo.
 I had this serious relationship then with (then) the prettiest girl I know, and man's not exactly David Beckham, so man had to pull his own weight.
 Every time we were to see or go out, I would peel away with a car, and irrespective of how clean the car was, would always take it to the car wash, get it tuned up,buy extra fuel, just so the AC could be on full blast and pop in a new air-freshener to complete the ambiance.
  We were always forming cool kids so we wouldn't go to GDC but would take the much longer journey to Silverbird (before Buhari shut it down) to see movies, eat and have fun.
Life was good then, life was easy; 
Then when parents couldn't come back without getting gifts or snacks (Goody-Goody!!!!!), when danish cookies were the staple of every Nigerian home, when inasmuch as there would be soup in one ice cream container, the odds of finding Ice cream in the next one was always high.
 I was oblivious to the real hardships then, I had no idea how much minimum wage was before former President Umaru Musa Yar'adua increased it to 18,000. I had no idea how much the purchasing power of the Naira was or the exchange rate.
I just knew that ten thousand naira was enough money for me to live on and ball.
Fast forward to 2018 and the NLC decide to strike because since 2008, no-one has though to increase the measly 18k ($49.86) the people are being paid. In the face of the bringing to public knowledge the exorbitant amount of monies collected by our law makers, I was very happy with the action.
After what seemed like forever, the Federal Government agreed to increase the minimum wage to a paltry 30k ($83.10). (why won't our youth go abroad to wash plates?)
 However, it seemed like good news. I was elated. I should have known nothing good can come out of this administration; a few days later, the same government announced they had plans to increase VAT from 5% to 7.5%. This would undo all the good wok they had done with the minimum wage increase, and then some. I shook my head.
This government is not for the common man.
A value-added tax (VAT) is a consumption tax placed on a product whenever value is added at each stage of the supply chain, from production to the point of sale.
Basically, EVERY item in your house is subject to VAT. Now imagine the domino effect when every good/service has to be a victim of price increment. The trickle down effect stops, money that'd otherwise be spent at a car wash by an overzealous boyfriend would rather be spent on existential problems. Bole becomes an occasional delicacy and the basic necessities for a good life (chocolate, wine etc) become an acquired taste.
Elections are on Saturday, get your PVC.

NB: I have so much to tell you guys. After Atiku wins on Saturday and my mind can be taken off governance and things are rosy and peachy, we'll talk about the good things and how life has been. Bridging the gap will be fun.
Until then, thanks for reading!