LIVE AND LET LIVE (Let People Enjoy Things)

When I was creating my Facebook account in my father’s living room on one of the 1-week midterm breaks, with our ethernet Nitel cord that never worked until that day in 2007 (after trying out cartoonnetwork.com and playing the Kids Next Door game), I was supposed to provide personal details to make my ‘wall’ complete and make my profile more attractive to strangers. I was asked a bunch of questions that as a Nigerian I had filled and gotten accustomed to; marital status, religion, sex, etc. When I reached ‘political views’, I remember absent mindedly selecting “liberal” without caring much for the meaning.

 Sometime in college, my close friends (who are almost always my roommates plus few other ‘outsiders’) and I were playing video games, lounging and just chillin’ when one of our other friend came in, obviously pissed and told us, point-blank that Michael (other roommate, name changed for security reasons) was gay. One of the highlights of my entire college experience was how we all took it; we simply went back to what we were doing. Michael who had been a recluse prior to then suddenly became more vocal and interacted with us more while Snitch left shortly after. Truth was we had suspected Michael before then and had whispered it in hushed tones, but beyond that what exactly was our problem with him? He was an exemplary roommate: he was tidy and neat, he was almost never around and when he was, he stuck to himself. We should have a problem with him because someone weaponized his sexual preference when they had a fight?

That was my first interaction with an ‘openly’ gay person.

When I was reading history books earlier this pandemic (I use ‘earlier this pandemic’ to refer to Q1 & early Q2 of 2020), I came across a quote that stuck with me; “…treason is a matter of dates”. Then I watched a movie called The Count of Monte Cristo (recommended) and the line was repeated with such context that the writer must have been clairvoyant. I then watched The Imitation Game where a man was forced between a rock and a hard place, for a simple life choice. And sometimes I wonder if people’s choices (especially when they do not affect other people) are really anyone’s business, but I digress. Back to Tales under the moonlight:

 I wanted to take a bath earlier and wanted a playlist, so I picked up my phone and loaded up my uduX app. Picked Haba (of course), Bad Influence, Away & Something different. Set up the queue and was about to hit play when I realized I just selected 4 different songs by 4 different Nigerian artists for the first time in my life and I was so happy. Then I remembered ‘Betty Butter’ is the No1 song in Nigeria and I almost hissed but stopped myself. --For a very long time I stayed away from Nigerian music and there was a period of a few years when I did not have any Nigerian songs on my phone until Illegal Music II was released (first Nigerian album I ever got) where I found Boogey and I bought my first (2^nd, 3^rd & 4^th) Nigerian albums. Since then Burna Boy, Wande, Maleek Berry and so many others have found their homes in my devices. My initial grouse with Nigerian music/musicians was the inherent lack of (sensible or indeed actual) lyrics. I felt they were taking Nigerians for fools, believing that they could say whatever they want (or nothing) and slap on a catchy hook or chorus and get away with it (also my grouse with pop music in general). It was difficult for me as I grew up listening to ABBA, Bob Marley, West Life et al.—Because I’ve come to learn an important lesson as I grow up in this life; preference is personal. People like Betty Butter and enough people like it enough for it to be number One. Instead of disparaging it as a hollow, void, incoherent rambling of two superstars who know that they could successfully release their farts as an album and be sure of at least a thousand sales, I could just put that energy into supporting what I actually like and leaving alone what I do not.

 Moral of the story; promote what you like, ignore what you don’t.

 Final bible reading before we close;

 Social media is awash this period (as usual) with news, gist, memes and social commentary about the Big Brother show. The show is as divisive as usual and contrasting opinions on the show’s importance, necessity, viability and ‘need’. My father believes the show is a waste of a channel space while my mother could possibly tell you each housemate’s maiden name if you asked. On Saturday, there was a house party so I tuned in primarily to watch Sarz and Omah Lay’s performances. Three people texted me and after I told them I was watching Big Brother Nigeria; they revealed their shock and one went as far reminding me how I castigated the show last year. True.

 Up until late last year / early this pandemic, I did not realize the economic viability of the Big Brother show. I did not consider the jobs created, the funds recycled, the FX it brings, the exposure non-housemates get, the benefits to the entertainment industry, fashion industry and general image. I was just bitter because Gulder Ultimate Search & Who Wants To Be A Millionaire were cancelled but Big Brother survived and blossomed, but I failed to ask myself the existential question: ‘why’? Furthermore, why should the shows I want be kept but others scrapped? If you don’t like Big Brother and you still don’t care about the economic or entertainment benefits, simply tune out of it. The football season comes every year and people who don’t particularly care for Ronaldo or Messi don’t go extinct. People deserve to get entertained without necessarily explaining why or ‘benefitting’ from it.

Let People Enjoy Things.

To quote the philosopher Erigga; “Bad belle na disease, for rating e beat staph”.

I hope I’ve been able to convince and not confuse you that:

i)                    Leave people alone.

ii)                   Your life is exactly that.

iii)                 You shouldn’t judge people by your standards.

iv)                 Mind your business.

v)                   Promote what you like, ignore what you don’t.

vi)                 DO NOT tell people how to live their lives.

vii)               Everyone has preferences; they are personal, not objective.

Follow these 7 rules and you may not get beaten up.

Since I read “Culture is just peer pressure from dead people”, I haven’t been able to think of it as anything else. Make your own decisions, emancipate yourself from mental slavery, break your own chains. Who you are should be complex, not a stereotype.

Shalom!